Now that you know that The Reasons For Not Getting a Job may be completely different than you thought, and now that you also know by heart (you do, don’t you?) the appalling 10 (Real) Reasons For Not Getting The Job in France and Italy, it’s time to get daunted by this nice assortment of the real reasons a variety of companies based in Spain and the UK gave for not employing me. As per the correspondent French and Italian ones, it’s not all crap either, and I wish I had taken them more seriously at the time.
No, it’s not true.
I hate being serious on a regular basis.
1) Translation company in Madrid
I decided to answer honestly to the following questions: “Do you like taking orders?” and “Do you enjoy working overtime?”. He had a very strong Spanish accent and fantastic blue eyes, but he insisted on speaking in Spanglish, like if speaking Spanglish allowed him to turn into a perfect asshole. He didn’t offer me the job but wanted me to freelance for him. No way.
2) Financial company in London
After four job interviews in English, I was told that I didn’t speak any English. In English.
3) Financial company in London
The first job interview went well, so they gave me a super complicated test to complete for the following week. When I submitted the test through the agency recruiter, he let me know that they had already hired someone else.
4) Media company in London
After two successful job interviews and under completion of a complicated project test to be shown to the Supreme manager, I was told that the Supreme manager was looking for English native speakers only, and that the guys who interviewed me didn’t know it. They apologised. They were nice and all. And they had such a great selection of free fruit infusions, in the hall.
5) Travel company in London
As they realised I was not an English native speaker, they sent me away – just to call me back the day after to create a new multilingual job especially for me. They killed three birds with one stone. As for me, I killed myself.
6) Recruitment company in London
Apparently, my negotiation skills are shit as I got the minimum possible score in a terrible group interview to become a recruiter. No questions over it, please.
7) Digital company in London
I didn’t speak German.
8) Travel company in London
I didn’t speak Portuguese.
9) TV channel in London
They asked me who the best friend of some African dictator was. They told me I was not abreast of current affairs and sent me away.
10) Publishing company in London
Following the first job interview, they told the agency recruiter I was too “full of life” for their company. Hooray!
11) Digital company based both in London and somewhere in Canada
After five (yes, five) interviews they disappeared. They didn’t let me know anything, and they ignored my emails. Then they wanted to meet me again after a couple of months through an agency recruiter. No way, again.
12) Travel company in London
I didn’t have any sales experience. It’s true, but I thought they might not have noticed.
13) Digital start-up in London
I didn’t have a Twitter account.
14) Digital agency in London
They suddenly changed the job description, so I wasn’t a good fit anymore as I didn’t have any video editing experience.
15) London company in a very obscure industry – something related to coal or steel I guess
I was asked if I was ready for a pay cut and I said of course not.
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© The Shortlisted – 2016