When a couple of weeks ago I realised that an extended family of rats invited themselves to spend the winter in my garden eating the seeds that I had left out for the squirrels, something happened.
Well, I got hysterical, of course – but something additional happened into my mind, and a memory I thought I had lost suddenly came back to me.
When I decided to find out how many companies had shortlisted me in the past 5 years, I simply checked my mailbox to retrieve everything – I don’t really bin emails, especially when they’re related to work – so I didn’t remember about this one at all.
But it’s good for you to know what happens when the recruiter pushes you forward for a job interview and then still denies to disclose the company name or even the industry they work in.
This happened in 2011 or 2012 I suppose; I had just returned to Italy from an Autumn spent working in London and I was looking for a new job allowing me to come back to the UK.
An UK recruiter called me for a role he said he had, but refused to disclose the firm name, and even the industry; anyway, it was just a phone interview, so I accepted.
I realised who the client was just minutes before the phone rang when that idiot finally emailed me their name.
Now, not only did these people absolutely wanted me to be passionate about their industry, they actually wanted me to be genuinely interested in their stuff, and also to be a big fan of what the hell they were doing.
Which was pest control.
The vacancy was related to an Italian marketing and communication and something job, because they’re an international company.
But because everything happens for a reason, the truth was that I had actually had some contacts with their local branch just a few weeks before, as I had found myself eaten alive from those disgusting bed bugs.
They didn’t solve the problem, which was finally sorted out in an even more disgusting way I don’t want to talk about.
In any case, I had strongly hoped not to hear back from them in any form again – let alone working for them. Well, I could have accepted the job just because I was desperate and unemployed and was living in a very desperate and unemployed country – but you know what, if you actually go to work in something like that, at least you want to have fun and to be with fun people who mess around with fake rubber mice all the time.
A former colleague of mine who had previously worked in the porn industry couldn’t stop repeating how lovely porn employees are.
What actually pissed me off was the attitude of these pest control people. We talked for over an hour, and they never pronounced the word “pest” – you know, like if the police were monitoring them and they couldn’t say that word, like if it was prostitution or cocaine.
I mean, if you show off the way they were showing off to me, just get your hands dirty and let’s talk about rats and let’s have fun.
Anyway, I had the brilliant idea to tell them that I didn’t find it particularly appropriate to put a full-screen zoomed bed bug picture on their homepage.
I lectured them about the mental state and sleep deprivation of someone fighting against bed bugs, and how you don’t want to see these repellent pictures as you’re looking for help.
The interview went horribly. I then emailed the recruiter to let him know that I didn’t want to work there in any case. And then, for the first time ever, I deleted everything from my mailbox.
And from my memory.